🏳️‍🌈✝️🔻 Forbearing

by Apostolic Faith Church

06/26/2018

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Forbearing one another in love. – Ephesians 4:2

One definition of forbearing is controlling oneself when provoked. Forbearance is related to forgiveness, but often pertains to less serious offenses where perhaps the offending party is not even aware of his negative behavior. For example, on the school bus that I drive, some of the high school students are so used to making loud, popping noises with their chewing gum that they are hardly aware of doing it. Begging them to stop is useless, because when it is called to their attention, they redouble the intensity level.

Most of the teenagers in question do not claim to be Christians, so one might be unsurprised at their borderline rebellious behavior. However, sincere Christians may unwittingly be an offending party as well. Maybe you know likeable people who constantly interrupt when you are talking with them. Perhaps they have bad table manners, or always want to do things “their” way. Or maybe they always arrive late at choir rehearsal. 

What should we do when someone causes an irritation that requires forbearance? Some people may hold their breath or count to ten. However, with these approaches, when the provocation gets particularly intense, an explosion may result! There has to be a better way.

Notice that the focus verse does not just say to be forbearing, but to do this “in love.” First of all, to be able to forbear in the Biblical sense, a person needs to be saved. The experience of sanctification will help too. And there is still something for us to do after receiving these experiences. Try this when you feel provoked: begin to pray for the one who annoys you. Now, it probably does not hurt to pray for that person to change his ways in the issue at hand.

However, it might be more effective to pray that he will be saved if he is not. If he is a believer, then pray that God will bless and encourage him, and make him strong in the Lord. Pray until you find yourself really meaning this! It is impossible not to love someone for whom you are praying with all your heart. After hearty, unselfish prayer, the original issue may not seem like such a big frustration after all! 

Getting back to the school bus, I have three particular students who make my job less enjoyable than it could be. The thought came to me—if those three were born again, certainly my job would be a lot easier. But more importantly, their conversion would turn the high school “upside down.” Now that’s something to pray for!