It’s okay, God. Just admit it. This is all a big joke.
I
was standing in the cafeteria line, a sophomore in college, surrounded
by hungry post-practice athletes. Loud conversations swirled around me,
but the silent cry of my heart was louder.
Earlier
that year, the Lord had given me a crazy promise. And dreamer that I
was, with a bent toward faith in the impossible, I watched and waited
for God to do His miraculous work.
I waited.
And waited.
And waited.
Until
that evening in the cafeteria when my heart was weary of all the
waiting. I was convinced that because I hadn’t seen the fruit of the
promise, God was just waiting for the right moment to tell me it was all
a joke, and my faith had been in vain.
The line moved forward, and as I slid a slice of steaming pizza onto my plate, I heard a gentle whisper: “I don’t play with your heart.”
The weight of those words settled over me, echoing off the concave angles of my heart, as I nonchalantly fought back tears.
In that moment God reminded me that no matter how things appear, He is trustworthy.
He’s as worthy of my trust in this season of waiting as He was when Israel was waiting to enter the Promised Land.
After
centuries of slavery and months in the desert, Israel was free; yet,
they were convinced God had led them out of Egypt to die. Then, when
they were right on the edge of receiving the promise, Israel turned back
in fear and spent the next four decades wandering the desert.
As that generation died out, a new one rose up, and God again promised them that land, saying, “Every place that the sole of your foot will tread upon I have given to you, just as I promised Moses” (Joshua 1:3, ESV).
Despite the fact that Israel rejected God’s plan the first time, God’s Word still came about.
There are times when
waiting on the Lord’s promises feels impossibly hard. And sometimes,
like Israel, we give in to fear and turn a different direction.
But even then, God’s promises still stand true. God can do all things, and no purpose of His can be thwarted. (Job 42:2)
To
this day, I’m still waiting on that promise. I’m still clinging to God
through it with all that I am, trusting that He is good, and He keeps
His Word. And when those days of doubt whisper that this is all some
practical joke, I remember those words:
He doesn’t play with our hearts.
If He’s promised something,
you can rest assured He will fulfill that promise. It might not happen
how or when we expect, but God is faithful. And His Word stands forever.
Dear
Lord, You know my heart. You know sometimes it’s really hard to believe
what You’ve said when I don’t yet see it. Help me trust You. Help me
trust what You’ve said is Truth, and it will come about just like You’ve
said. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
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