While
chasing sheep on the hills, Patrick prayed a hundred times a day, in all kinds
of weather. It paid off. One night a mysterious voice called to him, saying,
“Look, your ship is ready!” Patrick knew he wasn’t hearing sheep. The time was
right for his escape.
4.
Patrick
refused to ‘suck a man’s breasts’
Patrick
made his way to Ireland’s east coast and sought passage on a ship bound for
Britain. The captain, a pagan, didn’t like the look of him and demanded that
Patrick “suck his breasts,” a ritual gesture symbolizing acceptance of the
captain’s authority. Patrick refused – instead he tried to convert the crew.
For some reason, the captain still took him aboard.
5.
Patrick
had visions
One night Patrick dreamed that Satan tested his faith by
dropping an enormous rock on him. He lay crushed by its weight until dawn
broke, when he called out, “Helias! Helias!” – The name of the Greek sun god.
The rock disappeared. Patrick took it as a kind of epiphany. He later wrote:
“I believe that I was helped by Christ the Lord.”
Patrick had other peculiar visions, too. Back home at
Bannavem Taburniae, he was visited by an angel with a message from the Irish:
“We beg you, Holy Boy, to come and walk again among us.” He trained as a bishop
and went back to Ireland.
6.
Patrick
did something unmentionable
Years into his mission, someone, it seems, told a dirty
secret about Patrick to his fellow bishops. “They brought up against me after
thirty years something I had already confessed … some things I had done one day
- rather, in one hour, when I was young,” he wrote.
Patrick did not tell us what he did – worship idols? Engage
in a forbidden sexual practice? Take gifts from converts?
Whatever it was, Patrick retrospectively understood his
zealous Irish mission to be penance for his youthful sins. While he spread
Christianity around Ireland, he was often beaten, put in chains or extorted.
“Every day there is the chance that I will be killed, or surrounded, or taken
into slavery,” he complained.
7.
Patrick dueled
with druids
Two centuries after his death, Irish believers wanted more
exciting stories of Patrick’s life than the saint’s own account.
One legend (written 700 A.D.) described Patrick’s contest
with native religious leaders, the druids. The druids insulted Patrick, tried
to poison him and engaged him in magical duels – much like students of Harry
Potter’s Hogwarts – in which they competed to manipulate the weather, destroy
each other’s sacred books and survive raging fires.
When one druid dared to blaspheme the Christian God,
however, Patrick sent the druid flying into air – the man dropped to the ground
and broke his skull.
8.
Patrick
made God promise
Another legend from around the same time tells how Patrick
fasted for 40 days atop a mountain, weeping, throwing things, and refusing to
descend until an angel came on God’s behalf to grant the saint’s outrageous
demands. These included the following: Patrick would redeem more souls from
hell than any other saint; Patrick, rather than God, would judge Irish sinners
at the end of time; and the English would never rule Ireland.
We know how that last one worked out. Perhaps God will keep
the other two promises.
9.
Patrick
never mentioned a shamrock
None of the early Patrician stories featured the shamrock –
or Irish seamróg – which is a word for common clover, a small plant with three
leaves. Yet children in Catholic schools still learn that Patrick used a
shamrock as a symbol of the Christian Trinity when he preached to the heathen
Irish.
The shamrock connection was first mentioned in print by an English visitor to Ireland in 1684, who
wrote that on Saint Patrick’s feast day, “the vulgar superstitiously wear
shamroges, 3 leav’d grass, which they likewise eat (they say) to cause a sweet
breath.” The Englishman also noted that “very few of the zealous are found
sober at night.”
10.
Patrick
did not drive the snakes out of Ireland
As for the miraculous snake-charming attributed to Patrick,
it could not have happened because there were no snakes in
pre-modern Ireland. Reptiles never made it across the land bridge that
prehistorically linked the island to the European continent.